Story Time With Sight

[Sight]

In this topic here, I'll be writing out detailed character profiles! These are here to demonstrate how characters can be created, and thought out without being too over-powered and or 'boring'. The goal of this thread is to encourage people to include less known traits in their characters. The secondary goal of this thread is to improve my skills as a writer and as a story-teller/administrator/DM.

[Sight]

Doran
The forest remained in its silent mood. Not a single bird chirped nor did a single leaf blow in the wind. It was almost as if time itself had simply ceased to exist, and Doran loved every minute of it. He stood next to a large oak tree watching a rabbit bound over to the river. His hair stood out amongst the foliage, dark as a starless night sky. Silently he watched, removing a stiletto from his belt slowly. The rabbit nibbled on some grass and suddenly snapped its neck to the right to stare at the observer with the funny pointed ears. It continued to chew on the tiny flower in its mouth while it stared intently.

“Go on little bunny,” Doran sighed as he placed the dagger back, “I’m not one to kill something as harmless as you…even if I am starving.”

The rabbit decapitated another dandelion before hopping off into the woods. Doran sat down on the soft wet grass, it was just past dawn and he hadn’t eaten anything for days. Granted, his people didn’t need to eat very often he still wanted something to fill his stomach. The smells of the forest filled his senses day in and day out but he just wished he could have something besides berries to eat. He needed meat… he needed something that could actually fill him up.

Doran stirred, he’d fallen asleep a few hours ago and now it was high noon. The sun was beating down on the little clearing in the grove, causing him to waken. The rabbit was long gone, and a shadow had appeared on the opposite shore. It loomed over the water ominously.

“Looks like I’ve got a meal,” Doran mumbled as he reached for the stiletto once more. The flat of the blade slid across his fingers as he twitched his way down to the hilt; the perfect weapon, one that could slit the throat of any animal and could be thrown at dangerous speeds. A slight twitch, and a light breeze of air, the stiletto had hit its mark, and a doe dropped into the river, "Oh…I didn't know it was a female…" Doran stammered as he walked across the shallow water and looked at his freshly caught game. The deer was writing in pain as the stiletto slowly took its effect on its mark. Blood seeped out of the wound in the deer’s heart and flowed onto the ground. "How I detest making a mess of a female..." Doran sighed, "I'm sorry." He took the razor sharp dagger out of the heart and placed it on the edge of the river to clean. Walking back over to the deer he said a silent prayer, and then finished it by breaking its neck mercifully.
Aftermath

What can we tell from reading this story? We can see that Doran is obviously an elf with black hair. However, lets look at his other character traits. By looking at his weapon of choice, we can assume he's a rogueish character who prefers the quick silent kill. He is also merciful and understands the consequences of his actions, not wishing to kill harmless animals and females. Even though it was only a deer. Doran is possibly religious as he says a prayer before he ultimately kills the doe, and we can conclude that he is merciful, as he does not let it suffer any longer than he has to.

[Eli]

That would be a lovely bio in an application, but it would still require those bits you pointed out to be listed in the strengths/weaknesses section. If someone submitted just that story as an application, I wouldn't be able to accept them.

[Dedtoo]

I agree with most of what you said. What I didn't get however, was that he was an elf. It said his kind didn't need to eat very often, but other than that we had little ways of knowing he was an elf. And I didn't even know that elves didn't need to eat that often, so I was pretty much just assuming he was something like that.

[Sight]

It also says he had pointy ears, which is where I got that whole thing.

[Dedtoo]

*Re-reads*
Where does it say he has pointy ears? Cuz, I can't see it...

[Sight]

*Re-reads*
Where does it say he has pointy ears? Cuz, I can't see it...

The rabbit nibbled on some grass and suddenly snapped its neck to the right to stare at the observer with the funny pointed ears.

Right there ^-^

[Dedtoo]

*Facepalms* For some reason I read it in such a was so I though it meant the bunny's ears... I feel stoopid now...

[Lucius Cain]

minecraft name:serpentseraphym
age:19
timezone:eastern

in character name:(detective) ivan wilt
in character age: 35

biography:
Ivan wilt was born in a far off town called the lincoln province.He lived there for the first 7 years of his life.His family poverty stricken, they had to move to a smaller town called murker. his father was a pawn brooker who made little money because every one in this town was about as poor as he is. Every time mr. johnathan wilt made a big break he was robbed of the money he made....often so that the thieves could have their fix of food and drink.
One day john came home and told his wife that he got robbed again and he was going to find and kill the thief.Ivan over heard. Of course this wasnt the first time he heard his father spout such nonsense.....and each time john didnt go through with it...........but this time was different.john was fed up with being robbed and this time he meant buisness. later that night john left......three hours later....he came back with one arm. Ivan watch as his father crawled into bed, fall asleep, and lie breathless as his pearly white sheets turned crimson.when his father finally spoke he told Ivan not to be alarmed....."son....get away from here....the chrodata theives will soon come to end us.......your mother and i are doomed,but you.......you must live".He promptly died of blood loss.Ivan dicided he no longer had a future there and took off,obeying his parents.
The years passed slowly and developed a kind heart,despite his troubling past and a full 15 years of wandering(at this point he is 24).he came across a town called bereck.....a large town filled with merchents.....and theives.Ivan was always exremely deductive and figured out shortly that the chrodata thieves were there. he walked the streets into taverns where he sat,drank, and most importantly....listened for clues to chrodata's whereabouts. he over heard a man talking about them and asked them questions, but didnt get far as the peasents trembled in fear of them.he was thrown out and beaten up.....but that wouldnt stop him.
years later after much progress he found their base and snuck his way in...as he eavesdropped he heard one of the theives mention the town of murker.he kept quiet and continued to listen......but he soon found himself spotted.he ran fast as he to the guards and told them that he could help them catch chrodata.having lost sight of ivan chrodata began to panic.after discussing the plan the guards and ivan exucuted it. it was a brilliant plan. it was genius. but because of an oversight.....it failed.Ivan failed to find out wether or not the could use magic....he didnt think these filthy bandits had learned it. about 120 people died because of him
now at thirty five he is a detective for hire...a private investigator......and a heavy drinker. he has been wandering for years in search of a case.......until he comes across new novograd.


likes:chess,booze,women
dislikes:stupidity,blood(not fear)
strengths: deductive reasoning(a bit impaired when he is drunk on ale or whatever the populare drink is)
weaknesses:alcohol,his damn mouth(biggest smartass you will ever meet)

[Sight]

Accepted xD wonderful story.

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